That doesn’t seem to matter to the depression though. Gah! Drives me nuts. The only solution I’ve found is to tell the depression to fuck off and just power through it. I’m still working out and trying to lose weight, still writing and still running Exalted.

The despression will subside eventually…

Huh, I was actually pretty depressed through the week too. It broke my diet around Wednesday. I wonder if it’s a seasonal thing, or just coincidence.

If someone never asks you about something, never brings it up and doesn’t respond when you iniate conversation about it chances are they don’t care.

This whole post is pretty dark, but my blog is a place for venting. Sometimes I forget that its not just a journal, but is in fact a place other people can and do come to read.

I’ve gone through a lot recently, particularly haven given up smoking weed. It’s played hell on my subconscious and brought the depression back full force. But I’ll get through it just like I have every other time before.

Thanks for the kind words!

‘Such as, “Oh yeah, I understand. To prove that, here’s something similar that happened to me.” Or “I am going to demonstrate how I put what you just said into context by talking about my framework for understanding what you just said.”’

The implication being that some significant portion of the times we perceive a response to be self-centered … well, we may be wrong.

My two cents is that until the human race is telepathic, patience and forgiveness are the only things that can hold the relationships we hold dear together.

By the way, good luck on your fourth draft and congratulations for making it so far. It sounds like real progress and can only be a beneficial experience in the long run.

I consider you a good friend, and wish there were more people in the world like you. You rock man!

It can be hard to relate to some of the things you talk about. The easiest and primary way to let someone know that you understand and perhaps empathize about what they’re talking about. Such as, “Oh yeah, I understand. To prove that, here’s something similar that happened to me.” Or “I am going to demonstrate how I put what you just said into context by talking about my framework for understanding what you just said.”

Unfortunately, a few things you discuss are outside of my realm of experience. Actually, quite a lot, to my chagrin. In those cases, I end up having to fall back on stock responses. “Indeed.” “Awesome!” “I see.” “Wow.” etc to prove I’m paying attention. That or vaguely emote that I empathize. I’m hoping this doesn’t come across as apathy. I usually end up fairly amazed, but can’t really add anything to make it a conversation.

I obviously can’t speak for everyone you talk to. Just giving my two cents about ME ME ME.

Fill up on produce, drink 64 oz.s of H20, and switch to whole grains (brown rice, yummm….if it’s too bland you can substitute some or all of the water with low sodium chicken broth). I also do a non fat yogurt for snack. If you need something crunchy/salty try blue corn chips or popped potato chips (Trader Joe’s. Do you have one up there?). If you have a sweet tooth, try adding flavor to the water (Crystal Light type stuff). If you make a meal, try to eat all the veggies first. You fill up and don’t have as much room for the stuff that’s not as good for you. I added garbanzo beans to my veggies tonight and it realllllly filled me up fast. Oh, and if you like sandwhiches, those new whole grain 100 cal flat breads are soooo good! Then you can load up on the healthy meats and veggies. If you do cheese, try reduced fat ( I can’t do that non fat crap, it’s gross lol). 2 % cheese = reduced fat. Hope this might help a bit!
Remember, if you do this slowly you’ll keep the weight off! You’ll reach your goal!

I think that returning to the hobbies that you love, paintball and hiking, and adding photography will help keep the depression at bay!

Love ya!